Life is short, have a kolach.

By Monica on January 6th, 2008

Perhaps the most famous Czech food item, and certainly its’ best known dessert, I have probably eaten my own body weight in kolache over the years. They come in many forms, shapes, and sizes. Some use raised dough (like the photo above), mine do not. All of them are delicious and must be given away immediately once they emerge from the oven, or they have a tendency to be eaten like popcorn and disappear within minutes (relocated straight to your ass & thighs).

They can be filled with farmer’s cheese, fruit fillings, poppyseed, or a variety of other temptations. My favorites were always the raspberry or apricot kolache, so that’s primarily what I make at home now. Solo makes a brand of fruit filling under the label “Bohemian Kitchen” that I’ve always used, if you can’t find this, use your favorite preserve or make an easy cream cheeze filling.

Instead of the raised dough variety, mine are the very light, flaky, pastry crust version. While this makes the dough hard to work with, they practically melt in your mouth. Like pie crust, the key to this dough is to get it, and keep it, very cold.

Health conscious vegans, look away from this recipe! These delicious suckers are comprised entirely of sugar and fat. They are easily veganized with non-dairy cream cheese and Earth Balance, but are still atherosclerosis on a plate! I reward myself with these only once per year because in all seriousness, we eat 2 full platters within 24 hours. It may as well be cocaine dusted on top of them instead of powdered sugar, though that might be a tad more costly.

Czech Kolache
12 ounces Tofutti cream cheese
2 cups Earth Balance
3 cups flour
Confectioners’ sugar
Filling of your choice (2 jars Solo filling, or about 16 ounces of your other choice)

Using an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat together EB and cream cheese until light and fluffy, (2-3 minutes).
Add flour, one cup at a time, until well combined.
Dough will be a little sticky. Divide into thirds, shape into flat circles, and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, overnight is even better.

Remove one round of dough at a time from the refrigerator and roll out to 1/8″ thickness on a lightly floured surface.
Cut into 1 1/2″ squares (a pizza cutter works best).
Drop 1/2t of filling into the middle of each square.
Fold two opposite corners of each square over the filling to meet in center. Smooth them together, or give a little pinch so that they stay joined.
Place on a greased or parchment lined cookie sheet and bake at 350° until lightly golden, 10-12 minutes.
When cooled, dust with confectioners’ sugar.

Makes about 5 dozen. That number will impress you even more once you realize you’ve eaten all of them.

Vánočka - (a.k.a. Hoska)

By Monica on January 2nd, 2008

I must be glutton for punishment, because this Xmas, I set forth to make a Hoska, a traditional Czech Christmas bread notorious for being difficult and time consuming to prepare. Making matters worse, my recipe was an old family one, loosely interpreted into English from Czech. I had to make educated guesses as to what some of the steps were, like what “make sponge” meant. After making it myself, I understand why hoska was made only once per year and why it has this devious reputation - it took us all night and day. How did my grandmother do this every year?!

According to Wikipedia, the silly bread is so temperamental that there are customs and superstitions involved in making it like: “you must think of everyone dear to you while making it”, “avoid touching silver or metal to the Vanocka”, and my favorite “the creator of the Vanocka must not jump up and down while the dough rises”.

Well, we didn’t jump up and down, but we did have a great time making it. Everyone giggled when the bizarre batter started fermenting and farting, and a hearty chuckle was had by all when the dough rose so much it mushroomed out of the bowl and started taking over the kitchen.

Here is one of the loaves rising for the 10,000th time, after we finally figured out how to arrange the dough:

Hoskas in the oven!

Hoskas out of the oven! (You’d think they’d be done now wouldn’t you? But they aren’t! Silly hoskas.)

Finally, hoska totally done, sliced. Insert Earth Balance here.

The easiest part of this experiment was the veganization. Simply substitute veg-friendly replacements for the butter and eggs. As for the rest of it, well, having instructions in English will probably make your experiment easier than mine. Maybe!

Vánočka
1 yeast cake (0.6 ounces)
1/4 cup warm water
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup Earth Balance
1 Ener-G Egg
1t salt
2 cups +2T warm non-dairy milk (I used rice), seperated
6 1/2 cups flour, sifted
1/2t ground ginger
1/2t ground mace
Zest of one orange, or lemon
3/4 cup raisins
3/4 cup candied mixed fruit (use dried fruit pieces if you can’t find candied)
1/2 cup slivered almonds
2T powdered sugar (optional)

1.) Dissolve yeast in warm water.
2.) In a large bowl (preferably the bowl of your stand mixer), cream sugar and EB. Add the Ener-G egg and salt. Stir in 2 cups of milk, then the water/yeast mixture. Add 1 1/2 cups of sifted flour and beat until the batter is smooth.
3.) Cover with plastic wrap and let the batter do its’ thing for 1 hour. (Mine fermented, bubbled, made noises, and firmed up like a loose gelatin after an hour).
4.) Stir spices and zest into the batter. With your dough hook attachment, slowly add approximately 5 cups of flour to make a dough. Knead until soft and elastic, either by hand or with your mixer. Knead in raisins and candied fruit.
5.) Place in a very large, lightly greased bowl and let rise until doubled, about 2 hours.
6.) Divide dough into ten equal portions and roll each out into a long snake, about the length of a standard cookie sheet. Let these rise for 15 minutes.
7.) Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper, one for each loaf. On a cookie sheet, start making a braid with 3 of the snakes: Start your braid in the center and loosely braid towards each end. Pinch the ends together.
8.) Take 2 more snakes, and loosely twist them. Place the twist on TOP of the braid.
9.) Repeat assembly for the 2nd loaf.
10.) Brush each loaf with the 2T non-dairy milk. Sprinkle sliced almonds on top and sides. Let the loaves rise again for 1 hour.
11.) Bake loaves at 350° for 38-45 minutes, until lightly golden on top. (Baking time will depend on how thick you make your loaves.)
12.) Transfer loaves to a wire rack and cover with a light towel until completely cooled. Sprinkle with confectioner’s sugar if you like.