The Good, The Bad, & The Really Bad

By Monica on February 8th, 2008

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy giggling at other bloggers’ kitchen mishaps, botched recipes, and outright baking disasters. We all have them, so please, chuckle at my expense this time and enjoy my recent food misfortunes.

But first, as the title would indicate, there is The Good:  Ashasarala’s Butternut Squash Lasagna with bechamel sauce. And by good, I mean really freaking good.

I made a few minor changes, keeping it a traditional layered lasagna with pureed squash and fresh spinach instead of an open lasagna with squash chunks, but the flavors remained unchanged.

And now, time for The Bad. I found this little nightmare on Allrecipes and should have listened to my better judgment when I first thought this sounded ridiculous. But oh how the reviewers swore it was like heaven, a pairing of unusual ingredients to die for! Well folks, some ingredients sound unusual paired together because they are disgusting when combined. In this instance, BBQ Baked Bean Stuffed Acorn Squash. Horrid. Simply horrid. Fortunately, I was able to salvage both beans and squash and recreate them both into something separate, but edible.

And for the REALLY BAD… “Jelly Donut Cupcakes” from Veganomicon. I don’t know what the problem was, I followed the recipe exactly but still we had a cupcake catastrophe.

Now I wouldn’t mind if they were just a little fugly but still tasted good. On the contrary, they were so bad Ray wouldn’t even eat them (that’s bad!). To be exact, “they look like a facial sore and taste like acoustical foam.” I could swear that I saw someone else blog about these before with fair results, so maybe the Cupcake Goddess simply was not shining upon me last night? In any case, here’s where bad cupcakes go to die at my house:

My wieners, take 2

By Monica on February 5th, 2008

Ok, they’re technically Julie’s wieners, but this was a catchier title. And unlike my last attempt at sausages, these came out perfectly! (My sausage skills might be improving, eh?) My only modification to Julie’s recipe was to use caraway seed instead of fennel seed, and they are absolutely fantastic! Way better than packaged Tofurkey sausages and certainly healthier and less expensive. These are now on permanent rotation in my house.

Here’s a wiener now, nekked in all its glory:

And then we move onto other possibilities, like Sausage & Dumpling Soup. Believe it or not, it isn’t tomatoes coloring this Czech soup, it’s all paprika.

This was also an excuse to use up more dried beans from my pantry. There is seemingly no end to them.

I think this next dish was originally German, but surely everyone knows the old Saurkraut-Potatoes-Sausage medley. Boiled taters, saurkraut, a handful of caraway seeds, and your favorite sausage. One of the easiest one pot meals ever!

And lastly, a French Bean & Basil Stew. I modified this from an old cookbook I found at the thrift store called The Peasant Kitchen. It was 25 cents, a bargain for this recipe alone. This was crazy good - pureed beans, loads of basil, vegan Parmesan, and of course, sausage.

A noteworthy mention - all of these recipes were made using just one batch of Julie’s sausages and I still have one sausage left over. How economical is that?!

Bean & Dumpling Soup
2 cups white beans
8 cups water or broth
2 bay leaves
2 strips SmartBacon, diced
1 small onion, diced
1/2 small celeriac, diced
2 medium carrots, diced
1 medium parsnip, diced
2T olive oil
2T flour
2T sweet paprika
1t marjoram
2 veggie sausages
salt & pepper to taste

Dumplings:
1/4 cup soy milk
1/4 cup water
2T Earth Balance
2T chopped fresh parsley
bread crumbs

Soak the beans in water overnight. The next day, drain and discard the water.
Place the beans in a large pot and cover with the water or broth. Add the bay leaves. Bring to a boil then reduce heat, simmer for one hour or until beans are almost tender.
Fry the diced SmartBacon n medium heat until browned. Add onion and fry until almost golden. Add celeriac, carrots, parsnip, and olive oil; cook for 5 minutes.
Add flour and cook for 2 more minutes.
Add paprika, marjoram, and sausage. Cook for 3 more minutes and then add all of this to the beans.
Season with salt and pepper, simmer for 10 minutes.

To make the dumplings, first make a bechamel sauce. Put the soy milk and 1/4 cup water in a small pot under medium heat. Add the EB. When melted, add the flour and cook for a few minutes. stirring constantly. Take the pan off the heat and add milk and water. Return to heat and add parsley and as much breadcrumbs as needed for a semi-thick paste. Season with salt and pepper. Drop spoonfuls of the dumpling mixture into the soup and cook for 3-5 minutes until done.

Bean & Basil Soup
2/3 cup olive oil, separated
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced, separated
1/2 cup minced fresh parsley
3 tomatoes, diced
2T tomato paste
1/2 oregano
5 cups cooked soup beans of your choice, separated
5 cups vegetable broth, separated
salt & pepper to taste
1 cup uncooked spaghetti, broken up
1 cup tightly packed fresh basil
1/2 cup vegan Parmesan
1 veggie sausage (optional)

Heat 3T olive oil in a large pot. Add onion, 2 cloves of the garlic, and the parsley and cook for 2-3 minutes until the onion is soft.
Add tomatoes, tomato paste, and oregano. Continue cooking until all the tomato juice has evaporated.
Add 2 cups of the beans and 1 cup of the stock. Season with salt & pepper, simmer for 10 minutes.
Remove this pot from the heat and allow to cool, then place in a blender or food processor. Puree until completely smooth.
Pour the puree back into the pot & return to medium-high heat. Add the remaining beans and stock.
Add spaghetti and simmer for 10-12 minutes until spaghetti is done.
In the blender or food processor, combine the remaining garlic, the basil, remaining olive oil, and Parmesan. Blend until smooth. Add this to the soup and stir in.
Add sliced sausages and cook until heated through.

The last time I went fishing

By Monica on February 2nd, 2008

My previous fish post kept making me think of a blog I posted quite a while ago on MySpace. There is some unpleasant imagery below, but nothing you wouldn’t see on any yee-haw, country livin’, fishin’ channel.

If anyone is interested, I’d also like to recommend a wonderful essay by champion fisherman Steve Hindi entitled “I was a fish killer“. It’s what originally inspired me to write this.

The last time I went fishing was in 2005. I went deep sea fishing off the coast of Florida. On the boat were a couple of young guys who were friends with the captain and trolled off the back for larger game fish. Eventually they caught something, and after a lot of reeling and maneuvering of the boat, we spotted a shark at the end of his line.

I was intrigued, the shark looked huge beneath the water! As the shark neared the boat, one of the mates took out a 9mm handgun and promptly unloaded the entire clip into him. Even then, I questioned how ’sporting’ that was.

Despite the gun, the shark was still far from dead when they hooked it and hauled it onto the boat. Still alive, the mates held it down and started gutting it.

At this point, most of us were pretty aghast. I wished they would have released it, but they splayed him open in front of us and threw his organs overboard. He thrashed and fought the entire time, and was finally thrown into a cooler directly behind where my party stood.

How this is possible, I don’t know. But for the next couple of hours, we had to sit on the cooler lid as the shark continued to thrash about and the mates warned us that he could still bite. Inside I felt terrible about this, and I’m pretty sure others did too, but none of us said anything as we looked down remorsefully upon our own stringers of dead fish.

Back on land, the crew filleted the shark, everyone took pictures, and we were all offered bags of shark steaks to take home. Mine sat in my freezer for many months and were finally given away; even as an omnivore I couldn’t eat them.

Looking back, that day is one of the most disgusting and shameful things I’ve participated in. It was the last day I went fishing, and the last day I stayed silent about things that matter. All but the most ignorant of people now accept the fact that fish do feel pain. Why is it still culturally acceptable to treat marine life like this, then? We encourage children to participate in this violence and have TV shows dedicated to filming the torture. Would we watch shows where people hooked cats and dogs, let them slowly suffocate, then gut them? Would that be suitable family entertainment and a beloved American pastime too?

Now I don’t want to leave you on that depressing note, so I’m going to throw in a totally random dessert shot. Cheer up, there’s always Susan’s Double Layer Pumpkin Cheesecake! (At least that’s what I tell myself some days.)